 |
Comment Of The Day But, sometimes not every day. |
THE WEEKEND EDITION!
Saturday & Sunday, December 26 & 27, 1998
| The Full Monty
(People Want It), The Sort-Of Beetle (People Don't Want It), The Drugging Athletes (People Hate It), And The Three-Legged Pantyhose (You Decide) The Impeachment Rules, after reading all XXVI of them, are really boring and vague in a specific sort of way. They are the same rules used to impeach but not convict Andrew Johnson. Well, there have been some minor changes but, essentially, they are the same ones. The Capitol insiders say that there is no chance that 67 Senators will vote to remove the twice-elected President who is raking in 70%+ approval ratings. The Congressional Republicans have led their party through their part of the impeachment process, resulting in approval ratings in the low 30's and, by some polls, mid 20's. This must be greatly encouraging to the Senate Republicans whose majority is also up for grabs every two years. But unlike the House Republicans who felt there was "no downside" because they are elected every two years for two years and memory is short and people view the stakes of a two-year  office
as less than the six-year Senate, Senators KNOW that people will
remember. As one of them said, "It would be a blessing if
this baby came a bit early, like this year." But reviewing
the "Rules" leads me to think that, like all Senate
procedures, this one will be tediously protracted and circumspect.
In fact, Senator Bird has said that "all due deliberation"
is necessary to sustain the Senate's sacred reputation. This
baby is already overdue, and there appear to be complications
looming in the birthing room. Censure is a long shot; it looks
like a limp slap on the wrist and may not actually be Constitutional.
No, I vote for the full Monty. Let's go all the way. Let's hear
all of the seedy arguments and evidence again, let's look in
Mr. Delay's evidence room, and let's see what's in there. In
the end, as I have said, it seems to me to be a no-lose for Clinton.
If they failed to remove, he is vindicated. If they do remove,
the Republicans look so bad, like they could care less what you
and I think; they look viciously partisan. It could be the end
of that party as we know it. And Bill will be the downtrodden,
beaten-by-politics, ever popular, if-flawed President who had
he office stolen by goons. If I were voting in the Senate (if
nothing compelling surfaces anew) I would vote not
to impeach. Did you know that this
is the one circumstance in the Senate where Senators, no Senators,
are allowed to speak? If they have a question, they let the Supreme
Court's Chief Justice know, and he asks it for them. All they
can do is listen. It's in the Rules. Call
me crazy, but it's got to be one of the worst-looking cars ever
designed. And, if you get in one, the dashboard is the size of
a dinner table. Why would anyone want to own a car that, every
time you drive buy anyone, they gape  and
often, they laugh and point. Especially feminine in its appeal
according to dealer polls, I would prefer the old beetle, which
I once owned, not because it was "pretty" but because
it was cheap. (Also I loved the sound of the engine when you
hit the accelerator.) I sold it when the driver's seat fell through
the floor and almost killed me. Pass the potatoes.People are now saying... well here, I'll just give you the quote: "I'm afraid to be successful  because
I don't want to be considered a bad person." So stated Jon
Drummond, a silver medalist in the 4x100-meter relay at the 1996
Olympics. And that is also true of many other athletes. Amy Van
Dyken, the four-time gold medalist has stated: "Something's
got to change or the Olympics won't be what they are. There's
going to warfare at the pool and the track." Now when an
athlete gets a nose bleed, it looks EPO (a synthetic hormone
used to increase oxygen-carrying capacity. If one of them shows
up with braces on their teeth, it looks like they are trying
to cover the enlargement of their jaw, a side effect of using
growth hormones. If someone achieves a break-through time, it's
a clear cut  case.
When almost the entire top end of the Chinese swimming team was
suspended, Michelle Smith, the three-time Olympic Gold medalist
is banned, Randy Barnes, Uta Pippg and even Florence Griffin
Joyner are all under the cloud, it's just too much. Some in the
Olympic movement are calling for the wiping "clean"
of all world records and starting over. But there's no easy answer.
"I think it's difficult to win without cheating," stated
Arnold Beckett, a British pharmacologist who was a member of
the Olympics' medical  commission
for 25 years. Athletes know how to cheat, from urine substitution
to just being hard to find for surprise testing. Officials agree,
only "the dumb athletes" are being caught. The smart
ones proceed at will. Some are predicting that the acceptance
of using drugs is just around the corner. I know that when I
was at the University Of Connecticut and we were swimming to
qualify for the 1968 Olympic tryouts in Mexico City, I watched
Don Schollander* swim in the heat after me, and to this day I
am still in awe of his skill and fitness. When he got out of
the water, he looked like a God to me. His time was about .04
faster than me that day. There were 15 other swimmers between
Don and I on the board. The thought that he was using drugs never
occurred to any of us. Of course it didn't, we were all working
hard and trying our best.  After
all it was for the Olympics. We had no thoughts of making a living
with endorsements and TV appearances. We were doing it because
we could do it. A varied set of circumstances put us all there
at Yale that day, for me it was the only thing I was good at,
so naturally I made the most of it. For Don it was just part
of destiny, and we were there to watch. We enjoyed his success
as much as we did dreaming about our own. We were stupid by today's
standards of elite athletics, but almost every day since that
day in 1966 I have taken great personal pride in my qualifying
swim that day. Even when I missed the tryouts because I had another
date on the muddy rivers of Vietnam. I just love thinking about
those days when I was young and in Olympic contention. Can all
of the athletes of today say the same thing? Can you imagine
being ashamed every time you see your Gold Medal or even just
the Olympic Rings? No matter where the Olympics are held, you
just hate them. Every two years... until death do you part. That's
your athletes on drugs.It's a new design for women's "pantyhose." It's got three legs, two in the usual places and then one extra that you roll up and insert in its pocket until you run one of the other. Then you take your leg out of the ruined one, and put on the new one. Voula! Just don't forget to tuck that other one back in or people might get the wrong impression. *Schollander was one of many in a line of great U.S. swimmers. In 1964, at the age of 18, he became the first swimmer to win four gold medals in a single Olympic Games, including a world record performance in the 400-meter freestyle and an Olympic record performance in the 100-meter freestyle. Schollander added a gold and a bronze to his Olympic medal total in Mexico City in 1968. Over the course of his career, Schollander broke 22 world records and 37 American records. See you next time? |
Most recent past comment.
Check the Archives, or, the Old, Old Archives for past comments.
(Watch the little (in red) numbers on the front page and on page two.
They'll tell you the date of the last posting.
Click here to go to Comment Of The Day Archives
Click here to go to Quote Of The Day
Click here to go to Site Of The Day
Click here to return to legendinc.com
Click here to email the Webmaster
You just never know.
